I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
