so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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