Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
