I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
