your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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