We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
