Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
