Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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