super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
