Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he shaved USA in his pubs
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the liver wants what the liver wants
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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