He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
