I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
