one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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