Dual....:-)
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
