I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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