I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We left the knife in your bed.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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