I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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