haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
