a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My penis needs a shock collar
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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