what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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