I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
