So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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