When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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