I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
