Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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