ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just want to make out with him forever
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
