Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
