He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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