Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
