How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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