She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
