dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
