Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
