When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you traded sex for a burrito?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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