You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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