Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Holy shit dude........stairs
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
