The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
