A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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