tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
