Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
