Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
