im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
