I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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