you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
