Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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