There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
you had me at cake vodka
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
