Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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