Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
