and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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