I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
